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Random Thoughts Friday

  • NaNoWriMo is having an official summertime NaNoWriMo called Camp NaNoWriMo. Is anyone thinking of doing this? I personally would have liked a bit more notice, so I could begin thinking of what I would have wanted to do, but I just may try it. It might necessitate becoming friends with my local library for a few hours a day, but who knows what it could yield?
  • I have some exciting posts I’m working on…well, exciting to me. One is the Ten Commandments of Editing (feels a little sacreligious to call it “the Ten Commandments”, but there are ten of them, and I enjoy excuses to use “thee” and “thou”). Another is how editing a book can improve your relationship. I have a massive amount of link love to distribute as well.
  • I found some fiction that I wrote when I was a senior in high school on a fiction website. Some of it is really good and I really want to continue it. One piece in particular sounds like the beginning of a pretty good Harlequin. I was actually sitting there going, “what happens next?” I don’t remember, although I know that there are at least three more chapters written stored away in Michigan. It makes me even more excited to go home.
  • I thought I had more to talk about, but I actually have more things to write, as in writing that may one day be published. That’s a good thing. I’ll try to post what I can this weekend from the promised posts and pieces for the Untitled page. Thanks for reading!

How are you spending your weekend? Any exciting news to share?

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Freestyle Friday: The Owning Up Edition

Cover of "Men Who Can't Love"
One of my Link Love picks talks about this book. Cover of Men Who Can’t Love

*I must warn you; this will be a bit of a long post, between all the links and things for you to look out for from this blog. If you’re looking for links to great writing posts, please visit Copywrite1985, my writing blog.

Thank God it’s Friday! This week has been a ROUGH week for me, which is why you haven’t seen any new posts from me. I will definitely post for those missing days, and I’ll link to all the posts I add in when I post the next FF.

So what have I been doing this week? Making money! Until the blogs I have can make some money, I have two jobs: an 8-5 M-F, and I do consulting on documentation for group homes in the Central Florida area. I used to work for my aunt, Pink Susie, and an Adult Day Training program. Now I work for a different group home provider. Anyway, they changed the system of reporting (again), which necessitated new reports for several people I work with (again), causing me to have nearly TRIPLE the amount of work I have in an average month due within the past TWO WEEKS! Eek!

Add to the stresses of a regular job and a now work intensive side hustle the college preparatory workshop ideas I have to present to the Education Committee at church at 9 a.m. tomorrow, the book club book I had to read, and the two writing deadlines I have before my birthday next Thursday, and you can see my brain is a little fried. So please bear with me.

Someone asked me about what other things were on my blog about Independent Women/Independent Attitude besides Brian’s post and my post titled Real Independent Women. After doing a little digging (I have over 350 posts here!), I noticed that I also addressed independent women and commitment phobic men in the Gender Roles Post Series I did (find posts here and here). I also addressed Independent Women with my minister in his marriage kit interview (found here).

Speaking of the marriage kits, I have several to get out to you guys. I’ve been crafting introductions and selecting topics from those conversations to discuss individually. The marriage kits I’ve done thus far will be up very soon (as soon as I have time to finish typing them.)

There were so many, many links I wanted to give you for this week! I’ve noticed there are some blogs where I just love every post. So I’ll mention the posts I like here, but I’m also going to get to work on the new page for a blog roll of what I’m reading, so you can always keep up with their quality content. *Note: I didn’t have time to do the non-wordpress.com links, so look for those tomorrow.* So, without further ado:

This week, of course, was heavy on love and marriage. Two very different post surfaced about men and women and marriage that were interesting. One was from Tracy McMillan, “Why You’re Not Married” (the irony did NOT escape me), and the other was Hugo Schwyzer’s “Why Some Men Don’t Want to Get Married.” Kemelp wrote a response to McMillian’s article, “I’m Not in a Relationship and I’m not Surprised.” Researches have determined exactly how long the “honeymoon period” is in marriages; it’s not long. MissMitten’s “I Got Married Without A Manual. And That’s My Excuse” was funny, but true. Nadine Harts explores her relationship with her spouse (from whom she’s separated)in raw detail in “No Differences.” Justmarriedgirl ponders impending motherhood and 127 hours in her post, “Don’t Look. It’s Terrifying.”PonderAnew posted the cutest marriage announcement I’ve ever seen. But enough about marriage.

I read a great post, “Desiring Purity” by Good Girl Gone Home that, along with some other conversations I’ve had, inspired me to write an upcoming post. Coco had a realization that there were indeed “Slim Pickings” when it came to what she was looking for in a relationship. Catherine hosted Petunia Johnson for an informative post on”Men Who Can’t Love.” I think this is truly the worst.date.EVER. Hindsight Letters wrote a wonderful letter to her 19 year old self, “The Trouble with Fairytales” (I’m so thinking of guest posting with them! Looks fun. :D). Finally for the love arena, there was the Happy Singles Awareness Day post over at Dear Future Hubby.
SS4BC wrote a great post about budgeting from her Financial Peace University Week Three experiences. On the yoga front, I really enjoyed “Yogi Got Back,” in which the practice of yoga resurfaces some old issues for Danielle. Speaking of Yogis, Amy really inspired me this week. First, with her post exhorting us to go “Back to Basics“, then with her post “Stubborn Enlightenment that included this nugget of wisdom:

In a moment of clarity, I let go of what I thought I knew, which then allowed me to let go of the struggle.  Once I let go of the struggle, I found that I could move more easily in the direction of opening.

In a class all of her own, Cordelia tells us why she stopped giving in to the blogging machine in her post “I’m Not Supposed to be Telling You This (Or, Cordelia, Unplugged).”

Finally, in the just for fun category, BigSheepCommunications mentions some other days we should be celebrating in “Move Over Valentine’s Day.” Whew. That’s some list for this week. Happy reading!

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This is Not About Tiger Woods…

…even though he’s been on every news station in Central Florida all day. I am sorry, I knew that it was some cheating nonsense when they mentioned he crashed into a fire hydrant leaving his house, with no alcohol involved, then went a few houses down before hitting a tree and his wife breaking windows of the SUV with a golf club to “rescue” him. LOL…that’s what I call it too, “rescuing”…more like running away from a who is she beatdown.

But like I said, this is not about Tiger. Actually, it’s about another cheating man that I know. He was caught cheating because he had sexy text messages and pictures. But he’s not the real focus either. So what is you ask? Ala carte lives, the Golden Rule, and who vengence belongs to.

So we will call this couple OneUp and Cheater. OneUp had a man. Her man was Cheater’s best friend. They go back like rocking chairs, babies with pacifiers, all that. ComeUp is doing her good woman thing when she allegedly comes home and finds her man in bed with her brother’s baby mama. Well, what’s ComeUp to do? Give him his comeuppance, of course. So she ends up hooking up with Cheater. And it is a scandal, honey. But then they get married and the scandalous part goes away. They join the church, he becomes a deacon. Years pass by and it seems like life is wonderful from the outside. But then Cheater’s phone won’t stop ringing one day and he’s outside. ComeUp checks it and sees sexy text messages and suggestive pictures…of her best friend, also married, also a cheater. She confronts this person, tells her husband, and is making Cheater pay through the nose, not knowing whether he is in or out. All of this is going on behind closed doors, and only people in that house know what’s going on, but then some of those people start talking and here we are.

I am so tired of ala carte lives and and our own sense of vengence making our lives miserable and unfulfilled.

I have a confession to make. I cannot order straight from a menu. Ask Mr. Perfect; it simply cannot be done by me. I have to get the lettuce and tomato taken off, the spinach left out, can I have this cheese instead of that cheese, can I have steamed broccoli instead of the vegetable medley, etc. Ala carte places like buffets and I get along because I can pick up what I want and leave the rest behind. I get this chicken sandwich, no lettuce or tomato, add swiss cheese to compliment the cheddar, right? They have an express menu that cuts the price in half and includes the drink, only you can’t add anything. I could still take off what I didn’t want, but no substitutions. So yesterday I paid twice as much for my sandwich…for swiss cheese.

But some people live their lives this way, not realizing everything in life is not ala carte; some things just go together. They want to be in a relationship where someone loves them and is committed to them and thinks of them first, but they don’t want to be faithful; that’s boring. They love God and his Word, except those scriptures that tell them not to do what they want to do; they shouldn’t count/ it’s only God inspired, you know men added some things just because that’s how they felt and the OT doesn’t really pertain to us anyway. In the case of the Bible, the book itself clearly states do not add to or subtract from. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Period. You can’t tailor make the Bible; it is what it is. There are things I wish weren’t in there, but they are and since I signed on to run this Christian race, accepting the Bible as God’s words to me, then I have to abide by them or stop running. I don’t like other people in my business, calling me when they don’t see me, calling me out on something they didn’t agree with that I said or did. I’m not a fan of having to wait until I am married to cohabit or have sex. To be honest, cohabitation would probably make my life a lot easier–split the bills, companionship, someone to cook for, blah blah blah. Every now and then, I meet people who need a good cursing out or a beat down and I want to be the one to give them the gift that keeps on giving. It looks fun to be able to do what you want and not feel guilty or convicted. But no one made me agree to follow Him; I knew the rewards, risks and things I had to give up before I signed on. It’s in the contract; why  lose what I’m running towards and working for because I chose to ignore what I was asked to do and told not to do?

In the case of the relationships, it’s much less defined. It’s all about what you and your partner have set up in advance, the verbal and/or written contract that you have drawn up. Is this relationship to be monogamous? If we can see other people, how does that work? You can’t assume that just because all you want is someone to go to the movies with that’s all the other person wants. That’s how you end up getting chased down the street by a golf club wielding woman at 2:30 in the a.m. (ahem…I’m just saying).

Neither can you get anyone back without setting yourself up. Maybe it won’t be done onto you in the exact same way, but it will hinder you. Who would have thought over 15 years later, Cheater would be cheating with his wife’s best friend, just as she had snuck around with him on his best friend? Does they even appreciate the irony, or did it not even occur to them? You cannot tell me that she wanted a man to cheat on her with her best friend, but she was only trying to get back at a man that hurt her. Why bother? You never know what life has waiting for that other person. People  who did wrong to you seem to be doing better and  better “until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end. / Surely thou didst set them in slippery places; thou castedst them down into destruction./ How are they brought into desolations as in a moment! they are utterly consumed iwth terrors.”–Psalm 73:17-19 …God not only is just in his recompense, He has already placed people to get exactly what they deserve, good and bad.

That’s enough sermonizing for one day. Stop cheating, trying to get back at people, and trying to treat your life, faith, and relationships like an ala carte buffet, as I am trying to do the same. And leave Tiger Woods alone…looks like Elin is taming him just fine on her own.

2Blu2BTru