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Expressionless Wonder?

I have a serious question to ponder with you guys. OK, it’s not really a serious question, but it leads me to talking about a serious(ish) topic, and it’s a break from telling every woman within shouting distance of this blog “get your life!” (BTW: I LOVE Tamar Braxton and her idioms, and use them frequently. It’s one of my “guilty pleasures” that’s not really guilty, but that’s another discussion for another day).

I was watching an engagement video on someone’s blog, as I do from time to time. I love engagement stories. To be honest, I love stories; it’s kind of what I do. Still, my favorite stories are love stories. Anyway, I’m watching this engagement video and the question pops into my head: When I get engaged, am I going to do the “oh my gosh I have to pee dance”?

Yes, you know the dance I’m talking about. I’m talking about when the women covers her mouth with her hands (oh my gosh) and kind of runs and jumps in place (the globally recognized little kid’s I have to pee dance). Or the “oh my gosh someone just punched me in the gut/oh my gosh I’m going to hurl” dance where the bend over or drop it low with their mouths covered. I’ve also seen the “oh my gosh I’ve got to run away; no, wait I have to go back” dance and the “oh my gosh; hand claps for honey” dance. Delight and joy and “oh my gosh” just radiates from these women.

And then there’s me. Am I going to be that girl? Probably not. It won’t be because I won’t be excited to be engaged. It will be more because I apparently have an issue expressing emotion. This is weird, since I have an “expressive face” to most people, but I’ll give you an example of this phenomenon.

I had an annual review/pay review once a while ago. In my fantasy, I was going for a certain annual salary but I didn’t think I’d get it. I went into the meeting with my “be serious in front of the higher ups” face, ready to take my 2% and go back to work. Instead, I got my fantasy annual salary. You know what my face did? Maintained “look serious in front of the higher ups. They had to ask me if I was happy with it because they couldn’t tell by my face. How can that be? I was doing cartwheels and high fiving myself in my head. I was falling on my face praising God and fist pumping at the same time in my head. But outwardly? “I get huge raises and high praises everyday face.”

Y’all, I hope I’m not one of those girls who just smiles beatifically and gives her fiancé a quick, gentle peck on the cheek (no offense to anyone who was that girl). I don’t want to be that girl any more than I want to be the girl that sits down with her guy and they “decide” to get married without a proposal (again, no offense to anyone who was that girl). I’m one of those crazy girls that wants a guy to put some effort into it, some thought behind it, some wow factor in it. I almost lost all hope of life and happiness when Jim Jones and Lil Scrappy proposed to their significant others. It was one of my throw my shoe moments, word to George W. (Sidenotes: I need to stop reading a certain website that convinces me I can say things like “word to George W. I’m not a punchline writer in real life. I need to have several seats. Anyway)

Am I just being a girl? Will it all be different when I see a guy on one knee? Is my face ever going to emote in a key moment? Will I actually have to pee? The world may never know.

If you’re an engaged or married lady, how did you react to the proposal? Was your reaction predictable and so you or completely out of left field? What girl were you?