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Savory Moment: Weddings and Writing

Mr. Perfect & I outside The Abbey
Mr. Perfect & I outside The Abbey

This weekend, I went to the wedding of a good friend from church. I have been talking to her about her wedding since she got engaged, sharing my vast knowledge of all things wedding (acquired from hours of wedding shows, wedding blogs, books, and investigative inquiries to venue, photographer, and other vendor sites) while she tried to make the hard decisions. I even got to be the (unofficial) fourth wedding photographer at her wedding (sorry, my camera gives me delusions of grandeur in that area; but I got some great shots! I’m just saying). Being at the wedding, enjoying all of her hard work and planning was really special. I’ve only been to one other wedding and two other receptions, so it was nice to see a wedding from start to finish that wasn’t on TV. I more than enjoyed myself. The bride was beautiful, the groom was emotional, the food was good, and a good time was had by all. At this moment, they bride and groom are on their way to soak up the sun and relax in the Maldives. Happy honeymoon!

What I really love about this point in my life is that I can be happy for other people. I say that as if it wasn’t true before only because there have been moments where I’ve had to remind myself to keep my eyes on my own paper, metaphorically speaking, and try to pass the tests in my own life instead of pining for someone else’s blessings. This usually involves some arrogance on my part, that I should have had something long before this other unqualified person.

But lately, I haven’t been feeling that. Lately, I’ve been able to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like I’m fulfilling my own purpose or because it’s more in line with my personality, but I’ve been over the moon for all of my friends’ successes the last year or so–and there have been a lot of successes in that time!

I have been hard at work on my book for a few months now. I’ve been writing the book longer than that, but the past few months is when it really took off. I wrote the beginnings of two pivotal chapters in November of 2011. I “finished” an entire chapter at the end of July 2012. But the real opening of the floodgates has been since about October. The interviews I conducted for the original idea for this book began in August of 2010, so we are talking about 2 1/2 years of work from inception to now. It’s snowballed from a small smattering here and there to a veritable flood of things I want to address and say. I thank God it has grown so well.

At this point, I have the major areas of the book outlined and started. I wanted to whet your appetitie and give you an idea of what’s to come in the book. The book is for Christian singles who want to prepare themselves to marry. The major divisions are:

  • Preparation–laying the groundwork for us to come to this subject with our hearts and mind in the right place. Have you done the preparation to be ready to consider a mate?
  • Meet Mates— a meet mate is a suitable one. How do you develop your criteria for a suitable mate? What principles does the Bible give us concerning mate selection?
  • Making Yourself Meet— Are you a suitable candidate for marriage? What work do you still have to do to be suitable for marriage?
  • In the Meantime–What should you be doing while you are single? How can you be happy for others? What does it mean to wait on the Lord? How do you wait (hint: this is an action verb!)? What are you waiting for?

The three main topics we will explore are preparation, purity, and patience. Each of these topics is composed of several other subtopics, of course, but these are the main takeaways.

So what am I actually working on right now? I am writing the practical application half of Meet Mates, pulling interview quotes for various sections, and researching. I still have scriptural examples and references being brought to my rememberance that will fit in somewhere, and I am still searching the scriptures for more. I have revised the first chapter multiple times to send out a piece to possible editors or agents. I sent this section to my dad, who really likes it. That’s a big plus for the book.

I’ve read certain passages of scriptures until my eyes feel like they are crossed, and the wonderful thing about it is I STILL find something new each time I read and meditate on them. I’ve enjoyed digging deeper into the Word of God. If this little book never sees the light of day in my lifetime, it has done a great work in my life. It has revolutionized my Bible study.

Things I still don’t have:

  • About the Author page–I HATE these. I never know what to say. Since it’s a book for singles, should I highlight that aspect of my experience? Since I haven’t published anything, should I try to get something published in Christian Woman magazine or somewhere to plump up my credentials?
  • Acknowledgements–there are SO many people to acknowledge! What if I forget someone? How can I convey my gratitude to them? I don’t even know how many more hands will be involved in this book to write one yet.
  • A foreward–once the book is finished, someone is going to have to read it and pen a foreward for me. I feel like women writers in colonial America, like I have to have someone vouch for me. “She’s a really good writer, and she really wrote this book. It’s awesome; you should read it.” Seriously, I think the foreward sets the tone for the book, and I want something that strikes the right chord and gets the reader’s hearts and minds ready for the book.

I welcome any suggestions. Of course, I know you all are not my writing blog audience, but as the blogs and discussions here started the idea for the book, I wanted to share this with you all first.

What savory moments have you all been experiencing? I love to read about your triumphs!

Working hard,


3 thoughts on “Savory Moment: Weddings and Writing

  1. This is absolutely awesome! I’m happy that you are in a place where you are genuinely happy for others AND that your book is coming along nicely!

    Yesterday, I actually re-read an old post I did regarding how I have to spend time/money/resources for the come-uppance of my friends. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our friends when things are happening for them that we feel should be happening to us as well. And in regards to your book, I actually ordered Michelle McKinney Hammond’s book “How to Be Found by the Man You’re Looking For”, which I think goes hand-in-hand with your book- being ready for the mate that God has chosen for you.

    I’m excited to see your work, and I KNOW it will be published in your lifetime! Have faith!

    1. “It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our friends when things are happening for them that we feel should be happening to us as well.”- Yes! It doesn’t matter to me when celebrities or people I’m clearly not on par with do extraordinary (or even very ordinary) things I haven’t done, but for a long time when friends surpassed me…let’s just say my competitive streak showed out! I’ll have to read your post on using resources for the “come-uppance” of friends.

      While I’ve been writing, I’ve seen so many books out there that appear to be about the same thing. One sample I got from Amazon, Lady in Waiting, looked pretty good. I’ve read both I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, as well as Passion and Purity and some others. If I wanted to submit a book proposal, I’d have to be able to say how my book is different from other books in the same genre addressing the same topics, so I’ve looked to see what was out there. I think my book is different for a couple reasons, but then, I think readers are the ultimate judge of that. I hope to have a little excerpt up soon. 😉

      1. I’m SURE there’s something unique about your book that makes it completely different from the others that have been done. When you’re young, you’re pretty much on par with your peers, but when you grow older and start expanding your circles, the people around you and your resources change. I’ve come to a place where I’m working on being patient (I’m a work in progress :)) and knowing that my time is on the way. And in the sermon I heard yesterday, the pastor basically said instead of worrying about the clouds that are over us, we need to prepare ourselves for when the clouds pass and the sun is out, so when our time is here, we’re not GETTING ready; we’re ALREADY ready.

        Oh, and here’s the link to the post! Let me know what you think.

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