A single Girl’s Worst Nightmare

This morning, I woke up to someone in my apartment–three times. It was a different person each time. Only one of them had any right to be here or could conceivably be here. I lived the worst nightmare of every woman who lives alone–in my dreams.

The first time I “woke up” and someone was in here, it turned out to be an old crush of mine. When I say old, think ancient, like first. I was upset he was just randomly in my apartment. I told him that I didn’t have any feelings for him like that, I had someone, yada yada, and he accepted that we wouldn’t be anything but friends. We shook on it–then my boyfriend knocked him out from behind. Where did he come from? Don’t know.

The second time it was a young guy from church that we often give rides to. I woke up and he was on my futon and I  had been asleep on the floor. I asked him how he’d gotten over a 30 min. drive from home to my place and at first he said he walked, then he said I picked him up but I just didn’t remember. It all sounded hinky. Then he scooted to the floor with me and tried to kiss me. I had to fight him off. Then my boyfriend knocked him out as well. Where does he keep coming from? I don’t know.

The last “intruder” turned out to be MensHealth. By this time I was hip to the possibility these were dreams, and I knew the boyfriend hadn’t been here when I fell asleep, so why would he just be here in the middle of the night? Yet, I could feel his hands on mine when he pulled me up from the the bed. He took a deep breath and said…

I CAN’T REMEMBER.

The only part of this elaborate, segmented dream that I don’t remember exactly. Isn’t that just a blip on the radar screen?

It was like being in A Christmas Carol with three people from my past, present, and future, only two of them are from my present. Was I supposed to get something from that other than to double check I locked my door and not to stay up late at night watching forensic shows? The world may never know.

Meanwhile, check out the weird posts that came up as a result of this post.

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