For the first time in a long time, I hear that tiny voice whispering “maybe it’s just not meant to be.” What “it” is depends on when you catch me:
Maybe I’m not meant to run a 5K, let alone a half marathon.
Maybe I’m not meant to be published again in my lifetime; maybe I’m not meant to write books.
Maybe I’m not meant to marry.
Maybe my life isn’t meant to be any more than it is right now.
It’s not too often that I get maudlin or let these types of thoughts overtake me, but it’s been a rough few months one way and another since I returned from my trip home. It’s sad that after the big revelation I had there (which you can read about in a guest blog on Monday over at Cordelia Calls It Quits) I am now financially behind, having career growth envy, and generally feeling stuck. I’m fast sliding into “I don’t care” territory, which is a scary place to be. It feels as if someone hit pause on my life, and I can’t get it moving again.
I’m frustrated. Not much rattles me, but the last few days, I’ve felt rattled. I know it will all work out & come right in the end, but it’s just one of those times when I want to sneak a peek ahead and see how it all works out.
My co-workers & I are going to the gym for CX Worx and cardio. I’m hoping a little endorphin action will lift my funk. How do you get over your blues? I’ve got a good workout with coworkers, my favorite meal, and a movie on tap.