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Your Other Job

It has been said that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. As you all know, I think that’s crap. Just because you love it doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. You do it because you can’t imagine doing anything else, but at the end of the day, if they didn’t pay you your check…well, that’s not what this post is about. *ahem*

This is about your other job: your relationship. Whether you are just starting out in an entry level position, working a dead end job or have an actual career, whether it’s your dream job or the job from you know where, there’s a certain amount of effort (work) required to get the most out of the relationship (your paycheck, if you will). The question I have is how much is too much work when it comes to relationships?

All relationships require work, some more than others. We all know at least one person in a relationship who talks about how well they fit together and how everything has fell into place so perfectly. “It’s just so easy with him/her,” all that jazz. Many of us sit back and think on our relationships and the issues we are dealing with and wonder if maybe we aren’t with the wrong person. Why is it so easy for everybody else?

It could be that this “friend” is feeding us a line of crap. Maybe they think things are great because no one’s addressing what’s bothering them. Maybe you are having a hard go of working through things now before you get further into the relationship.

One of the funniest things I noticed during the marriage kits is it seems every couple had some fight or disagreement, past or present, that they wanted to relate to me. A few of the couples had issues with how they disciplined children; there was an issue with one wife’s banana pudding versus the husband’s mother’s; there was even a disagreement about not putting up shoes. I’ve been on hand while some disagreements were being relived and hashed out. Even the couples I secretly think are the happiest, people married nearly 30 years or more, still have things they are working on.

But there is a difference, some sort of tipping point, isn’t there? It’s like working a job to pay the bills versus pursuing your passion. Both are work, but it feels different. There’s a difference in dedication, willingness to sacrifice. But that’s sometimes the case when we are with someone we shouldn’t be with as well. I know plenty of people who were dedicated to and sacrificed for relationships that weren’t good for them and ultimately didn’t work out.

So what’s your two cents? How much work is too much work in relationships? What should the right relationship feel like? Who wants to be bumped up a paygrade (I’m just playing; don’t answer that, unless your talking about actual work, in which case–me!)?

4 thoughts on “Your Other Job

  1. Personally I think if your first thought is to view your relationship as a job…that’s not a good thing. I used to think that relationships were hard — and they were — because when it comes down to it we were not compatible. This is not saying that relationships don’t come with hardships or arguments, but if you are compatible in fundamental ways, how you deal with them will be that much easier. It’s sort of sad because in a perfect world we’d match up swimmingly! Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way and love ain’t gonna be the thing that keeps you together. I told myself the first second I met someone & it began to feel like a job…forget it. Work & being in a relationship are two different things.

    1. I hear you. The thing I’m getting at, though, is more so than a job that even when you “love” something, it still takes work and effort. How much is just what’s necessary in any good relationship and at what point is it clear this isn’t going to work out? I’m not expecting many concrete answers, because each situation is different, but some general guidelines. I like what you said about feeling it’s too much when it feels like a job. But to play devil’s advocate: What if it feels like a dream career? Not that job you just go to for the check, but what you always wanted to do?

  2. Not on the subject….I like your new look!!! Hadn’t been here in a while and it was a refreshing suprise. Now, back to the topic…sorry!

    1. Thanks, G. I thought this theme might work better for me. I still have to do a little personalizing, but I like the look. 😉

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