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Balancing Stick

Ardha Chandrasansa, Balancing half Moon in Jos...
This is not balancing stick; it is Balancing Half Moon, according to the caption Image via Wikipedia

Balancing stick has always been one of the hardest yoga moves for me to do. Balancing is one of the most difficult things for me about yoga–not flexibility or breathing, as I expected. In balancing stick, your arms and leg must move at the same time while you are held up on one leg. My legs never let me down; it’s my arms. Most days, I end up pinwheeling my arms wildly so I don’t fall on my face.

This is symbolic of my present struggle for balance. Last year was a bad year for my goal of accountability. The year was riddled with monetary setbacks–pay day advances, late fees, overdraft fees, apartment fees, etc. I was always behind on my consulting work. I needed the consulting money to stay current on bills. I couldn’t seem to get back on track, much less make progress.

This year, my monetary accountability has been great. I haven’t had any late fees, overdrafts, or payday advances. I am able to pay all bills from my regular work checks. I haven’t had the same problems keeping up with work. But my life is now out of balance.

My personal time has decreased dramatically, and my time to do all the necessary to do’s that have nothing to do with money or working–grocery shopping, cleaning, washing clothes, etc. Most days I spend so much time making sure I have hit all of my financial and work-related marks, along with this new workout challenge, that I have no time for anything else but a few quick DVRed shows and bed. I’ve not had the time to write as much as I could write if I had time to devote to it.

The month of February has been beyond busy, and I’ve been plowing through it with no downtime. While many of you may consider exercising downtime, I do not. As much as I would like to think of exercising as relaxing, restorative, and my “me time,” at this point it is still something I need to do, still on the accountability side of the divide. Although I’ve had some great workouts this past week, I’m still not feeling that true passion or pull from it. I guess I’m still not seeing it as part of my lifestyle.

In yoga, there are some days the poses come more easily than others. There are some days I can get deeper into the stretch, and there are some asanas that feel better to one side than to the other. At this stage in the year, the accountability portion of my goals is going better (i.e. it “feels better on that side”). The balance postures of life are still very shaking. Hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to hold balancing stick–at least for a little while.