I’m a little upset and fuming because I didn’t get a job that I didn’t want. Is that not the craziest thing you’ve ever heard? I mean, I know it’s silly and a little bit crazy, but I’m kind of insulted and frustrated at the same time.
I guess I should fill you in on what I’m talking about. At the end of December, I had my review for work. In the midst of said review, my supervisor gave me a great review, told me pay increases weren’t available yet but I was getting one, and that I still had a job. Fantastic. When the salary increases were available, he called me back and went over mine. After this, he began saying really cryptic things like “I might not be reviewing you next year” “you may be working with another department” etc. The basic gist seemed to be that I may be in another role permanently, not just on loan as I am now to Accounting.
This freaked me out. I had begun to make career plans about moving up in Underwriting; now I may be somewhere else? Where else? What would I be doing? Would there be opportunity for advancement? Would this transfer come with a raise?
Then one of the accountants left. Even though I liked working with him on occasion, this had no real impact on my life–until they moved up a lower accountant to his position (they love to promote internally, which is another thing I love about my workplace). That left an accounting role open. This didn’t have anything directly to do with me. However, I knew that the accounts payable person had been here for a while and it was possible they would move her up, leaving that position open. This is where I panic.
I assumed you didn’t need an accounting degree to do AP; heck, I work with AP files already scanning. Wouldn’t it be easy to consolidate the workload and have me do the whole process? The thing is, I didn’t want to do it. I was kind of sick of AP invoices and check stubs already. I wanted to do something with words. But if this made sense to a junior employee like me, I’m sure it had crossed management’s mind. And the position in accounting had been open since my boss’ cryptic message.
After a while, the idea grew on me (or I began to think pay increase; I’ll let you come to your own conclusions). It was an opportunity to move up, to schmooze with the higher ups. It could be good for my as yet to be determinned career as a something or other. It would make replacing me that much harder. OK, if they offer me the job, I’ll consider it.
And then they hired someone. Someone who didn’t have a degree in accounting. Someone who wasn’t me. Now, I’m a little bit upset that they didn’t even consider me (at least not openly). Now I’m thinking, “well, why didn’t they consider me? I can do the job! I’ve proven I can do the job. Do they not think I can do the job? Am I not good at my job? If this wasn’t the job my boss was talking about, what is?
I’m confused, hurt, and still a little panicky on what my future could hold.
I'm a late twenty-something Christian woman living and writing in Orlando, FL. I write about the things I'm trying to get serious about in my life and in my walk with Christ, as well as reviews of books and movies. I enjoy reading, writing, traveling, cooking, movies, music, and spending time with friends and family.