Quick, pull out your Billy Idol collection and correct this title! Or is it even Billy Idol…I think it is…but isn’t it “going to a white wedding?” Aww, man! All of this pointless discussion is ruining my feelings of cleverness for finding a title that fit. 🙁
I went to Thanksgiving with the aunts this year–and man did I get some good relationship talk out of that! I got waylaid by the completely random post I just posted “The Milton Bradley Approach to Relationships” (which I will have to redo, as I still didn’t really do the title justice), but this is what I originally meant to talk about. You’ll have to excuse my brain–she’s still on vacation.
While I was sitting down eating a delicious feast with my aunts and cousins, with Mr. Perfect and the men inside watching the football game, I had this lobbed at me (and I am phrasing as close to memory as is possible): So this is the real question: can you still wear white at your wedding? So, I knew turkey was dry, but I’ve never gotten a piece stuck in my throat that way, ever.
I thought “the question” was bad enough (“so when are you going to get married), but “the real question” was something I wasn’t expecting anyone to just come out and ask. I’ve been asked them all, but I think that’s new. I’ve been asked if I were pregnant, when I was getting married, if my boyfriend lives with me…but not whether I could still wear white to my wedding.
I answered truthfully; I have nothing to hide. I wasn’t even offended so much as shocked. I mean really? Over the turkey (Well, technically the turkey was in the house, so it was just over the dinner table)? I thought it was a bit inappropriate for the Thanksgiving table, but I didn’t think much of it.
Then I got this message on Facebook from my aunt about how sorry she was, that she didn’t mean to offend me. I don’t know what to say to it. It was suggested to her that it wasn’t right for her to ask me that. I don’t have a problem with the question, just the venue.
When Mr. Perfect first came to visit me, one of the elders at the church asked us point blank where he was staying. Of course, he was staying at a hotel and nothing freaky sneaky was going on, but I think it unruffled him a bit. He was uncomfortable with the question, especially from someone he just met, even though he answered it.
How are you tactful in these situations? Are you tactful? I know many people who don’t think any of the questions are other people’s business, but I believe in accountability. I told my aunt I intended to stay a virgin until my wedding day, so I think she was within her rights to ask the question (just not over turkey at the packed dinner table). How should I have responded?
What about when you don’t think it’s someone’s business or don’t want to answer? How do you address prying questions? Do you down play it? Laugh it off? Answer seriously? Tell them it’s inappropriate?
I am not ashamed of the fact that I am an old maid. 😀 I am proud that I’ve kept to my principles, and I think it’s good that someone’s holding me accountable to them. But I’m calling for tact and timing, here. What do you all think?