Make it Like Poetry: Untitled (This Poem’s About You)

Note: Now keep in mind that I’m an artist, and I’m sensitve about my…-Erykah Badu

Seriously, it’s been a while since I’ve shared a poem, or any writing, for that matter, for thoughts/critiques/insights. This is one of my babies, so hold it gently. Also, this is meant to be read aloud, in the style of spoken word, so say it aloud if you can to get a good feel of it. This poem is slighly angry forceful, and more than a little aggressive confident. There are two less than savory word choices, but you have to go with what feels authentic and say what you mean, right? They won’t all be so confrontational condemning plaintive; but I figured why not start with a big departure and bring you back to what you know of me? *Deep breath* Here goes nothing…

Untitled (this Poem’s About You)* 

Would rather not be tolerated or settled for,

 Would like to think I deserve to be treated like more

 Than the whore on the floor, making it

 Drizzle

 Rain

 Pour.

 Not your average run of the mill

 Must be her body tip drill, nor intelligent and

Highly skilled but her body’s no thrill.

 I realize most guys don’t think my eyes are my best feature,

And want a lady that will freak, preach and teach, or

At least she seems all three on the surface.

Wonder if it’s really worth it,

When all I was taught was important seems completely worthless

Like subway tokens in Pontiac, and as a matter of fact

I birthed a curse that only gets worse

Living a hook with no verse and nothing

 In my purse but book, chapter & verse.

 And it hurts to be so close to romantic perfection

 A close intimate connection, yet not be able to

 Taste that confection

 Because Mr. Right has flaws and claws.

 What’s the point of being right in a world gone wrong?

 All alone when the sweat soaked throng

 Getting low, showing their thong

Poppin’ hard to the song

 Get all the play like Marvin Gaye in his hay.

 Even though you say give me a church girl any day.

 Before the lie trips from your lips you’re mad cause my

 Hips don’t lie,

 No woman, no cry.

 I can’t deny I don’t drink, don’t get high.

 Would rather be pushed aside than

 Told to wait then be forgotten, til love gone rotten

 Begins to smell, and you can’t tell

 Why the hell I’m so angry.

 Then blame me for not being the life of the party;

 Go on, tell ’em Carly.

 Even though it’s not hardly, it’s softly true

 That you’re so vain and oblivious to

 My pain, you don’t even know

 This poem’s about you;

 Do you?

*Don’t you just hate it when someone tells you something is Untitled but then it has a subtitle? What is the point of that?Even though I just did it, I don’t really know; it just felt right.

Leave your two cent’s worth after the beep…

*BEEP*

7 Comments

  1. Emily

    I like it. I think the rhymes work well for the piece (: I think the ending could be a little stronger, with a bit more of a POW, but overall it’s good (:

    • 2blu2btru

      LOL, thanks! Yeah, me and endings are always struggling, whether it’s a story or a poem. *Big sigh* Ah well, a work in progress, I like to say!

  2. Pingback: Make it Like Poetry: Untitled « Indigo Moods

  3. Pingback: Blog Rewind 2010:Best Posts! « Indigo Moods

Comments are closed.