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Freestyle Friday

RTD: There’s nothing wrong with desiring some credit/recognition for doing things you’re “supposed” to do. Just because you’re “supposed’ to do it doesn’t mean it’s easy or even natural to do. There’s nothing wrong with seeing someone striving to do right and saying, “I see you. I know it’s not easy. I think what yo’re doing is admirable. Keep up the good work.–Notes from the Cubicle.

Mz. Trill call me back last night. I think that she’s still in love with her ex (insert Kelly Rowland song here). She never really broke up with him because she never really wanted to. I could be coy and say this is another reason I’m not sexually active (I’m not tied to a crazy by good peeps), but the fact of the matter is loving and sharing with someone, whether done “rightly” or “wrongly” still hurts to give up. Did he probably cheat? Yes. Did she cheat on Mr. Nice Guy? Yes. If her heart wasn’t in it, shouldn’t she have told him so? Absolutely. But it’s like all those black romance movies: the best choice isn’t always the choice we want, and when we try to force ourselveĀ to make the smart choice in love, sometimes all we achieve is hurting innocent people. Even if she doesn’t want Nupe back, she didn’t let herself heal so she could bring a whole person to Mr. Nice Guy, crazy man or not. I think her best course would be to let go of both and concentrate on the two men in her life that really matter–my godsons. She’ll be ready for the right man someday, but for now, I would keep my babies close and my Bible closer (and not answer my door to lustful males).

This week has been really rough for me. I managed to make it with lots of prayer, but it’s been a really big struggle. I’ve been fighting a lot of despair & hopelessness. I feel a little crushed underfoot by life’s circumstances at the moment. I know my faith & optimism will come back eventually, but right now it’s nowhere in sight. There’s been a lot of loss, a lot of steps back in the past few years, and not enough steps forward. I keep thinking, “When will this period of testing be over so I can at least recover?” Hopefully soon.

I’ve got a long day in front of me of meeting with Gladys Mrs. V and getting her work done. I should probably be asleep already, but my mind won’t stop thinking, mulling over issues and problems. Maybe I’ll turn on a movie and veg until sleep claims me.

If I don’t get another chance to write before it’s over, have a great weekend everyone.

Peace, love & hairgrease,

2blu2btru

3 thoughts on “Freestyle Friday

  1. You’re such a beautiful woman and writer! I know your storm won’t last always. Continue to allow God to be ur resting shoulder…when u are weak, he is strong! Love ya!

    Oh.. And oh girl should absolutely keep it moving!

  2. That you continue to pray in the midst of the storm speaks volumes. Continue to pray for direction, sis; it will come.

  3. Thanks for your comments! Everyone needs an encouraging word every now and then. I’m still staying positive and doing what pleases God, no matter what! It’s not easy right now, but it’s only making me a stronger better woman. I watched an artist last night at a show I went to onstage painting. I stood in the crowd for a long time looking at random streaks of color and wondering what in the world he was making. It just looked like splashes to me. Then they began to come together–a beautiful couple against a colorful background, a solitary woman with a lei around her neck. He knew what it was going to be the whole time, and I, standing by, had no idea. This is how God is. I see just a bunch of difficulties, but God knows what the ultimate outcome will be all along.

    Thanks for the compliments šŸ˜€

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