Love is Free

Random Thought of the Day: It’s a good thing that love is free. I know we pay for love in a number of ways that don’t include a dollar sign, and a few that do (dinners, hair, nails, outfits, gym memberships), but I mean the emotion itself. If you had to buy love from the store, how much would you pay for it? You can get your hair and nails done and wear nice outfits and influence attraction; you can have good conversation and have companionship or friendship. But what would happen if the only way to get someone to love you was to pay f or it? Could you afford it? What if you had to have a license for love and could get arrested for loving without a license? People already refuse to pay bills to get their hair and nails done and max out credit cards on clothes. What would we let lapse and hair repossessed for love?–Thoughts from the Cubicle

My Daily Extra on my desk calendar (New Yorker cartoons) was a maze. I hate mazes. Maybe because I have such a bad sense of direction (not completely true; I just need directions–I need to know which way to go). Or maybe it’s because I choose the wrong way so many tiems and hit so many walls. I sit there looking at my options thinking where the hell is this going?  I try starting at the end and working my way back to the beginning, but that rarely works either; I lose it in the middle. I love word puzzles though. What scrambled up word is this? HOw many 4 letter words can you make from this word? Words are my specialty, but as Colbie Caillat sings “Sometimes the only thing words do is get in the way.”

This is kind of my problem with relationships. When I try to navigate around in the relationship maze, I keep hitting all of these walls. I erase my path, go back and try again. I get a little bit farther and hit another one. The time comes to choose right or left and I go the dead end way. I try to imagine the end and work back to where I am, but the paths don’t seem to connect. At least I’m not the only one with relationship issues.

My bestie, Mz. Trill (lol, not her name, but it’s so appropriate) broke up with her boyfriend a little while ago. She’s moved on to a new guy, (Mr. Nice Guy)but the ex-boyfriend (whom I’ll call Nupe–also appropriate) won’t take the hint and go with God. Nupe keeps calling, facebooking, showing up–and she lives over 30 minutes away. He came over and told her if she had another man in there, he would’ve went to the car and got the strap. Really?! “Why I get the crazy ones? Well, Nupe ain’t crazy but–” No, Mz. Trill, really he’s crazy.

Meanwhile Mr. Nice Guy is wonderful, except he’s not…satisfactory in one area. He sounds cool (I’ve not met either guy) and sincere in finding a solution to his problem. Meanwhile, while he’s off working or whatever, Nupe shows up, who doesn’t have the same problem (he’s just crazy), and here is Mz. Trill facing temptation (“and my Bible wasn’t even in the room with me…it was downstairs”). Without suitable protection from such temptation of the familiar, she succumbed. Now she’s confused. No, don’t be confused; this is a wall, back up to you and Mr. Nice Guy and take a different path.

**By the way, Mr. Nice Guy smells her sheets and checks them for signs of other men, along with her caller ID. Where does she meet these men?

The more I think about it, the more I think we are all a little lost in the maze. The only good thing about it is if you’re lost but holding hands, as Brad Paisley sings. “I live for little moments like that,” he sings. I don’t like being lost or not having directions, but I’m learning to enjoy the journey.

P.S. What should Mz. Trill do? Any other thoughts, feel free to include them.

5 Comments

  1. Mz. Trill needs to run for the hills! Um, Mr. Nice Guy is just as crazy as Nupe. Smelling sheets, checking caller ID and whatnot..homeboy obviously has trust isshas. Are they warranted, only she can answer that, lol.

    Maybe his er, other ‘issha’ (yeah, I read all up ‘n through that, but I could be wrong) leads him to think Mz. Trill will stray, IDK. I shudder to think what could happen if Mr. Nice Guy thought he smelled something amiss. Sad to say, this is domestic abuse waiting to happen. Geesh….

  2. Ummm yeah….I’d have to agree. Smelling sheets? Checking caller ID? I have done those things before but I did so because I was insecure and needed validation and he was cheating anyways.

    I do not even do those things now….I just pick his phone up, use it, check msgs, update my FB status, etc and he has no prb and neither do I. It’s like it’s my phone lol but this situation you speak of is crazy.

    • 2blu2btru

      It’s great that you have that level of trust in your relationship now. Everybody doesn’t have that, or doesn’t want it because then they would have to reciprocate!

      I haven’t really checked Mr. P’s anything and as far as I know he hasn’t checked mine, beyond asking who someone is on Facebook or Twitter when we’re sharing my computer or telling stories.

      I’ve always had a hard time figuring out why people cheat in the pre-marriage stage especially, when you can always leave without legal ramifications and be happy and not have to lie, conceal or conspire. It’s so much effort to me. Trust is the foundation of any relationship so I think both of these relations are bad because they both lack trust.

      • From what guys have told me when they cheat(ed) and from what my ex told me, he wanted the new PYT over there but didn’t wanna give up what he had at home (so to speak). If he didn’t care if he lost it all, then lying would be a waste of time.

  3. And Mr.D has been cheated on constantly in the past and a baby (he thought this was his son before the DNA test) was the result during one of those times. His fear of being the fool again is stronger than mine so that is why he doesn’t mind.

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