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Get it in Writing: Pre-nuptial Agreements

I got so many ideas sitting at work, I can write 5 entries today, but I have to put some food on and I want to get back to watching Lie to Me Season 1 on Netflix watch instantly, so we will see how far I get.

#NowPlaying- Put it on Paper-Ann Nesby & Al Green.. well, not really. I actually don’t have that song, but it seemed appropriate. Let’s see if I can find it on YouTube…

Ahh, that set the mood. Now back to the discussion at hand…

One thing that everyone has to consider in this day and age when getting married is whether or not to have a Pre-nuptial agreement. What exactly is a pre-nuptial agreement? Two quick definitions:

The basic one: : an agreement made between a man and a woman before marrying in which they give up future rights to each other’s property in the event of divorce or death —called also pre*nup *Pause*  ***If you die, I don’t have any rights either? Hmm, hadn’t heard that…***

 The advanced (legal) one: written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms of possession of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of the property of each, and potential division if the marriage is later dissolved. These agreements are fairly common if either or both parties have substantial assets, children from a prior marriage, potential inheritances, high incomes, or have been “taken” by a prior spouse.

To pre-nup or not to pre-nup–that is now the question. Some might even argue it’s not a question at all whether or not to have a pre-nup; rather, the question is how extensive the pre-nup has to be. If one person doesn’t want one, they are a gold digger; if one person does want one, they don’t trust their partner and maybe need to rethink marrying that person. Or they’ve been burned by an ex before, or have a friend that has a friend that has a cousin who’s nephew’s father’s ex-wife screwed him over. Whatever the case may be. Either I have stars in my eyes and refuse to prepare for the inevitable, I am after his present or future pocketbook, or I am a suspicious, untrustworthy person.

Mr. Perfect, who admittedly is not the most trusting person on God’s green earth and who thinks I was the sucker born the minute I came into the world (although he wouldn’t say it quite so bluntly…he would just same I’m too trusting, forgiving, nice or naive) definitely wants a pre-nup. There’s no telling what he will acquire and if it doesn’t work out, he’s not trying to be broke. He even has a co-worker going through a divorce, around our age, who did not have a pre-nup and is getting served up a can of judicial whippin’. I understand the practical aspects of asset protection and looking towards securing your future earnings. When I finally get published and get my lucrative contract, I wouldn’t want a man to try and take that either. But something about a pre-nup catches me on the raw.

I’m not sure. It sounds perfectly fine on paper, and if it’s just restricted to assets and all. But what about the other things? Random drug test, monetary punishment for cheating, getting the frequent flier miles in the divorce, “porker clauses”…it can get very disrespectful, hurtful, and unnecessary. I’m not into laying down  a mandatory number of sexy times, how many times a week I will cook, and every single minor detail of life in a contract. And while I don’t intend on gaining an excessive amount of weight, as people age their bodies change whether they are active or not, and I’m not about to put any weight restrictions in writing for the duration! People can get nutty when the legalese comes out.

And if money is kept separate, is it really necessary? If we’re just splitting bills down the middle with our separate accounts and pursuits with nobody’s hands in anyone else’s money, there’s not a lot of overlap. Shoot, this is some complicated nonsense. I’m not even sure if I want to put someone on my (employer paid) health insurance, so I’m not about sharing funds at this point in time. Maybe when I’m old and have been married 50 years it won’t matter. Whoever is still alive will get it all. Problem solved.

As you can see, I have no definitive yes or no stance on pre-nups. Where do you stand and what would you advise someone getting married to do? What goes in the pre-nup and what do you leave to mutual private discussions and agreements? Is it all about the money in the pre-nup, or do you have any other issues that would be addressed in a pre-nuptial agreement?

Going through the internet, it is the prevailing sentiment of the Christian answer pages and threads that Pre-Nuptials are not Biblical because they are preparing for something that shouldn’t be an option in a Christian marriage–i.e., divorce. So religion, of course, and your religious beliefs, are also something to consider. What impact does religion have on your view of a Pre-Nup?

One thought on “Get it in Writing: Pre-nuptial Agreements

  1. Pre-nups sound like a lot of work. It seems fine if written up thoroughly to cover everything but some things do go too far imo such as weight gain. But, if their family has a history of getting fat or the significant other does not take care of themselves right now prior to kids then I can understand. I understand the religious aspect of preparing for something that shouldn’t be an option (divorce) but it’s an insurance policy like everything else.

    Unless God climbs down from Heaven and drops this fool on my doorstep, I will not be 100% sure he is the man for me. He may be a Christian too but each Christian is different and holds certain commandments near & dear. There are no guarantees and it does not mean I want a divorce but it covers me in case the inevitable happens. I know many Christians who are divorced (me) so life has a way of changing your views. So, if I re-marry, would I pre-nup? No. If he wants one then I will get one as well.

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