There are certain things that we just can’t do without. These things are different for different people, but we all have something that makes all the other stuff we have to do in a day, week, or month worth it. For me, one of those things is writing–blogs, journals, stories, anything. I also love entertainment–music, movies, and television.
But what about people? Can I do without people? Well, yeah, kinda. Don’t get me wrong, random strangers and dear friends who read my blog; I love all y’all. Your comments make me smile, make me laugh, make me think, make me mad, and sometimes make me sad. I like to see what people are up to on twitter and facebook. I even don’t mind company for discussion of a good TV show or movie. I will talk you to death on the phone, resuscitate you, and talk you to death again. You can even sleep over, eat my food, and talk my ear off about your no account boyfriends, husbands, brothers and others, or ask for my advice as if I really have that much more wisdom or life experience than you do. I love all of that. But there are few people that I need.
Once I wrote a message for my boyfriend on my facebook that was largely misinterpreted. It went something like if it wasn’t for him I would be naked and starving, lol. All I meant was thanks for the meals and the clothes and shoes, said with my exaggerated, slightly sarcastic humor. Someone misinterpreted this to mean that I needed my boyfriend to fulfill my own basic needs. I thought it was pretty funny, especially knowing myself and the fact that I don’t depend on anyone but God for anything. Before I get off on my “I worked three jobs to put myself through college and go to work to keep my lights on erry’day” tangent, I don’t mean do you need people to take care of you, either.
Back to that single’s meeting that’s been a rich soil for many of my recent postings. The Single’s Minister’s new wife was telling me that you know when you are ready to be married to someone when they are the one you want/need with you at your worst moments, the person that you would call on to help you face your darkest hour, the person you would want beside you at the worst moments as well as the best. She asked this as a question to me, and I jokingly whispered conspiratorily “my mama” because I wasn’t going to seriously answer that question at that moment, not without giving it some thought.
I knew where she was coming from and what she was saying. I knew what my honest answer would be and all the reasons why it would be thus. I’m just not a go out on the limb first kind of person when it comes to showing my emotional hand. There’s no way I’m walking my happy behind out on this untested branch and feeling it give way beneath me. There’s two sides to every story. I can want/need someone by my side all I want, but they have a choice, too. I’ve been the person in friendships and familial relationships on that limb when it broke, and instead of someone putting out a hand to pull me up, I’ve had boots on the top of my head pushing me off the darn tree.
Of course, I know it’s scary out there on the limb, so why would I expect someone else to go out there first? They don’t know my response anymore than I know theirs. And after all, the guy is the one who asks for the first date, who asks you to marry him. He’s always going out on that limb first. Maybe it’s in their nature to just do it. Maybe it’s brave. Maybe it’s crazy. Either way, all that I am asking is that we go together (with me a little closer to the trunk in case I get scared and need to bolt back) the first time. Once I know the branch is safe, well, I don’t have a problem going out there first in future.
What is you can’t do without? Who is it that you have to ask their opinion before you do something to ensure you don’t regret it? Who do you have to call and/or hear from or the day/week just won’t go right? Who/what makes you smile? What do you have to do to keep crazy at bay? Who/what is your light to hold back the night until the morning comes? I have many. I’m blessed.