Mood Indigo Part 2

I bit the bullet and went to lunch with the newly engaged Blondie and other coworkers. I figured since I went to the pub I may as well be sociable. Of course, all of the talk was of weddings and planning, so I had next to nothing to contribute. When we weren’t talking about venues we were talking about losing weight in her face for pictures. Nevermind she is already a stick and is barely on the right side of the eating disorder line. Skinny women kill me. It may interest you, Dear Reader, to know Blondie and her guy have been together eight years. It did not change my view whatsoever, as it was meant to. I guess this was meant to make me feel bettter; it did not. Since she is my age or younger, at least a fourth of that time was high school and two fourths college, which I guess can be serious exclusive dating, but probably is not. Not to mention the on/off thing, which seems to have been their deal.

I think people misunderstand my bad mood as sour grapes because I am not getting married. While it would be more accurate to say I have more irritation at who is getting married rather than the act itself, that it makes people scrutinize me further because I’m still not married, that would be the easy and slightly mean answer. My grievance is with my life in general . Why am I still at this point, circling overhead like a fat ugly buzzard waiting for something to die? Waiting to pick through what’s left after the lions get their share? I work hard. I exercise. I pay my own bills. I guarded my purity and stayed busy. I followed the pattern. Why am I not getting the desired results?

I know it’s a recession, but I shouldn’t be this broke.I am almost 25 and still not on that writing career path. I haven’t any children to distract me. As the Bible says, I was running well; what hindered me? Some days I get up and couldn’t care less about pretty much anything. I feel like it’s okay; where I am is fine. I am fine. Then here come the newly engaged, or my cousin and her new dream job and trips to Miami. I can’t seem to keep afloat in tranquility. Well back to work. More later

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