Mr. Perfect and I visited with an older gentleman from church after morning services on Sunday, and something he said got me thinking. I asked him, as we were preparing to leave, if he knew if we were still having a Singles’ Ministry meeting and whether or not he was going. He told me that he wouldn’t be attending any more of the Singles’ meetings because of the person over the Singles. He doesn’t feel that person should be over the Singles anymore.
The main issue that he has with the Singles’ Ministry’s current leader is that he recently got married. Our singles’ leader is in his late 30’s and this is his first marriage. I liked him for singles’ ministry because he was a little bit older and the way he chose to run the ministry seemed appropriate to me. The focus wasn’t how to find a mate, why you haven’t found somebody, or anything like that. It was about enjoying your singleness, using your single time to get closer to God and serve him, and general relationship skills that are important with your interactions with all people, not just those you want to be romantically involved with. But now that he is married, should he lead us singles?
There are married couples who lead singles’ ministries in other places and do a wonderful job. As the focus of our group isn’t really on the single state as much as it is on being a good God-centered individual, it doesn’t really matter to me that he isn’t single; in fact, the only difference to me is that now he can clearly see both sides of the aisle. He can let us know a few things (those few of us who have never been married): How did you know that this was the one? Why did it take so long for you to know (or so short a time)? What were you waiting for before you decided, what did you need to see or know before you made that leap? What is different about being married vs. being single that you hadn’t even thought about but you think we should? I love insider information. Let me know how it is!
And there is no one else with his unique positioning and credentials. He is old enough to have some wisdom, but young enough to relate to the younger people. He teaches for a living, so he knows how to keep people involved and interested. He always brings the focus back to the Bible, but if the conversation starts to switch to another topic that is on people’s minds, he rolls with it. He allowed a lot of input from us on activities and topics. He was always there and prepared to take part in every event.
My thought is, if you have a heart to minister to singles then you should. Just because you are a man doesn’t mean you can’t be a good OB/GYN; even though you haven’t got a vagina, as long as you know how one is supposed to work sufficiently to get board certified, you can analyze and prescribe all day. Every married person used to be single, so at least he has personal experience with the state of being he is ministering to.