I know what you’re thinking…wow, two posts in one week after so long of a silence! There’s a few reasons though, and none too good, I should say. The first reason is simply because I didn’t have time to finish bringing you up to speed on what has been happening in my life. I will do that first before I explain the other reason. So, where was I? Ah, work wasn’t going so well. The last thing about work that wasn’t going so well was coworkers. You know how there are some people who openly don’t like you or anything about you, who let you know up front? Those are not the people who work at the bank. They are more underhanded with their dislike. The things they say to you may be perfectly fine, but the way they say them is often sarcastic and/or meant to put you in your place. A lot of it is passed off as joking, but I am twenty-three people: I know a mean-spirited comment from an honest joke.
There are other happier changes in my life. Well, most of the time. I have a boyfriend. We have been together about ten months, and he is wonderful. There are a few issues but nothing too serious. We talk to each other, laugh and joke with each other, go to church together, go out and do things like go to CityWalk Universal or the movies or nice clubs, or other events. He likes the pudge on my stomach. He walks with me around Lake Eola Sunday afternoons and watches Bridezillas with me Sunday nights. He worries about me when he doesn’t hear from me. He watches me sleep when I doze on his couch as he does his MBA homework. He buys me caramel drenched ice cream. I love laying my head on his chest and listening to his strong, rhythmic heartbeat. I love hearing his deep voice rumble in his chest, how his chest vibrates against the side of my face. I like how he strokes my hair as I lay with him on his floor watching the news.
I could go through the whole long story now of how we met and the progression of the relationship, but right now I am not in the right frame of mind.
I have my own apartment…so far, nothing’s in my living room, but still, I am the only one staying here (and consequentially, the only one paying bills here. There is still a lot to do to get the apartment in good working order, but I have time.
Which brings me to the other reason for this second entry in two days. I was “let go” yesterday. There, I said it. You’re the first to know. Lucky you! I told you it wasn’t working out very well. Well, the day before yesterday was the last straw as far as the leaving money out thing. To be honest, I knew that day, Monday, that I wouldn’t have a job anymore, but instead of calling me in at the end of business Monday, she waited until the end of business Tuesday to do so. At first I was a little upset with her over that, because she and I both knew on Monday around 4 that I wouldn’t be staying on, so why hold the ax over my head for another day? However, I am glad know, because that’s another 8 hours on my last check that I wouldn’t have had otherwise, and I really will need it.
The leaving part was really hard, not because I’d formed lifelong bonds with my coworkers (most of them I won’t ever miss), but because when you leave a bank job they treat you like a criminal, whether you are one or not. I have never been let go before, but I’ve seen it happen in movies and things, and usually the boss calls you in, fires you, and you go back to your cubicle, throw the wife and kids’ pictures and the plant in a cardboard box and head out. Well, in a bank, they take your keys (I had a million keys for everything), lock all your drawers with the money inside, watch you clean your belongings out of your area, get your combinations from you, and everything but walk you to the door.
My ex-boss tells me to call her if I need anything, including a recommendation. Who gets recommendations from people that fire them? Can you trust them to give you a good recommendation? I don’t. Although, it would save me telling my aunt to write me one and hearing her I told you so’s and you should come and work at the group home agains. She also says that she will tell everyone that I am no longer continuing with the company because I decided “to pursue other interests.” Doesn’t everyone know that’s code for “she was fired”? And even if they don’t, wouldn’t the fact you escorted me around my station like I had stolen money alert them?
If I had been fired at the end of the week, I would at least have gotten a full paycheck plus my measly 15 vacation hours. Because I didn’t, I will most likely be in the hole for the month unless by some miracle money lands in my lap from an as yet unknown source. That doesn’t give me much time to find a job (in a horrible market), even if I do manage to get all my November bills paid. What’s an almost grown woman to do?
Did I mention because of budget cuts, the job I was offered at the group home is absolutely unfeasible? It was a better job offer to begin with, except without the possibility of medical benefits and holiday pay, but now it is not economically feasible for them, really. And even if it was, I can’t move because I signed a lease til next July. Not to mention relocating two hours away could kill a relationship that already survived long distance for an extended period once.
I am all alone in Orlando, save my boyfriend, and have no idea what to do next, except update the resume I never took down from all the job sites and pray.